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2009 is going to be the shit. new year and practically new place. a new me.
i don't have a past only the present. no longer will i dwell in the past of not just me but also of those around me. what happened last year was last year, this year will be completely different, better, brighter, at least for me. i'll make sure of it. what's to come is my new puzzle. the pieces will fit together by themselves.
i'll always have myself, no matter what happens. i'll be there for me and i am stronger than ever.

andy warhol stares through my soul.
going to his exhibition today with hugues was a lot of fun. i would love to go again. the room with the strobe lights keeps me rendered and hypnotized. i felt disoriented the whole day from lack of sleep but it was so much worse when i entered that room. i watched the projections of a man eating an apple, a couple with a whip "dancing" and a tied up victim being fed grapes. those pillows hugged. it was so visually stimulating. i loved the music too. made me feel so retro.
vicious flip flops.
i stepped into the shower earlier tonight, or morning, whichever. half-way through my shower i hear a man's voice by my locked shower door. i ignore it and continue with my shower. i open the curtain once i've finish to discover my flip flops have disappeared. i rushed back to my room to see if i had forgotten them in my room and find nothing. a little freaked out i walk around in my towel in attempt to find the cheap plastic. i find nothing but someones laundry sprawn about the hallway. after complaining to my friends about this odd and creepy experience, i go to use the washroom and find my flip flops in the toilet. oh the things ppl do.

a new start

i always wanted to start fresh, so no more thinking about the past. just what is here and now. i need to stop being so past oriented and start becoming more future oriented. where am i going to be a few years from now. never would i have imagined ending up at mcgill a couple years ago, but i love it here and sometimes i forget that i'm in montreal. people get used to their surroundings so easily that they take it for granted. everyday on the way to class i watch the toddlers run across the school grounds, laughing carelessly and living in the moment. it makes me smile, such sweet innocence. makes me reminisce. i love being me and wouldn't want it any other way. i am stressed and all that but i still appreciate the little things. all the little things. its the feeling i get when i step out the door everyday. i am taking a big step towards the future i want. the fresh air makes it so much easier. sometimes the sun hides away but i still feel its warmth.

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